On the right side ..!!

 

Do life always give to two sides to choose from?

Do you are always on the right side? or is it necessary that you need to be on the right side?

These are some of the questions, which drilled me to my core many times, cause I always had to choose from the two sides. I always try to be on the right side and it worked somehow. (touch wood !!).

But .. we are human and as the saying says … “To Err is Human” ..

I was watching “Up in the Air” last night, and is was a good one. The character that I liked and found close to heart was “Natalie”.

Natalie was a ambitious young woman, with a revolutionary plan to cost saving for her company, BTW .. her company used to fire employees … (strategically!! so that they don’t make a fuss outta it!! ) on behalf of their employers who fear that things may go out of their control, when they themselves fire the employee.

So, Natalie introduces a system to fire the employees over the communication network .. so save cost company was bearing to keep the people “on the road” (though they are generally up in the air :P). She was very excited about the new system and the company work till she gets into actual firing of employees seen in front of her … or later one of the employee threaten to jump off the bridge, which she eventually did …. resulting in, sort of, eloping of Natalie.

So here we are again, which was the right side this time …? being knowing the right is always right … we always foresee, what is right and what is wrong …. but try to overlook the right side of life .. to stay ahead in career, to befriend and sometimes for various other reasons.

I fear !! of the outcome … as did Natalie faced .. cause you can never be sure … fighting with your conscious and more active mind, which is actual right side.

I choose to stand out of the crowd, I’ll be with what is right … is right and I’ll stand for that … cause I fear of the outcome .. of me being on the pseudo right side …

Lets do it !!!

Here i am.. !! I was thinking for some days to get back to do some casual blogging, and here I am again, in front of my long lost blog, with no ideas in mind (I did this before … :P).

I have been sharing with some of my friends, the idea of blogging (again !!!), and wanted them to provide me with some directions. Ideas on what to write about, should I start blogging with some technical content ( naahh!!) … How to live life in US (sorry dudes !! i dint have that much experience!!) .. then?

I am still confused, and got to find something very soon.. or i’ll fill the space with crap as always .. :P

Let me tell you, i am working on to get some good ideas .. well i like to write about blogs I read… I'll continue doing that. Thought of trying out Windows Live spaces… but i think this place is better … :)

Though I got Windows live writer to connect to BlogSpot and I am thrilled with the idea … that i can blog offline also .. :D

will be back soon.

its a looooooong time .. !!

yeh .. i know ... its some time since i posted here ... no excuses ... though ..

i wanted to write something in here ... but the thing is that ... its almost 1 in morning ... and this is not weekend ...

So, i'll write a little ... somehow, i ended up in chennai. How that happened? Why that happened? .. its not a good time to elaborate that now, will write that sometime, if i wish to post.

I hated Chennai, for no reason as such, and never thought in my wildest dreams that i'll end up here. But we say that dreams not always come true, and that happened with me.

For me Chennai is still a mystry, i m trying to admit that its not as bad as i have imagined. But i could'nt help myself hating Chennai.

I know i'll recover one day and will start realizing that ..... "See man, people live here too... then why can't you???"

Anyway, i am not planning to stay here for long.

Rest will post if i found myself exploring chennai.

Why !!!!!

Why i got to know all things that make me .... feel bad.... why i am of exploring nature......??
You tell me something and i can ..... go to root level... it is becoming easier for me now..... and in the end i really think, seeing the outcome, .. why i did that ??? it'll be better if i didnt get this new untold information.

I can tell....... its not alwayz me.... if i am not willing to explore... situations make me do this .... providing opportunities...

I never wanted to know some things!!.... but i know now.... dnt know... how can we erase our memory of certain days....

I'll try to be the same...... try to react in same manner as those things i dnt knw.... but its a pain in doing this ... react with plastic feelings and emotions....

i dnt really like ppl behaving in the way ..... which is not their originality..... but i have to copy that in certain situations now.... i dnt know how much i'll hate myself..

I never hated myself.... i loved the way i am.... no regrets so far..... so this is hard for me....

One thing i can do.... really... i am a person who can tell you things directly (Its just what you feel..... no plastic stuffs)what is the that rubbish of yours ....thts hurting me

...and if you are my friend... and believe.... friends usually appriciate this approach... but some do not and they are not precisly your friends... rather your first level friends..

So the last approach i mentioned here .... i love.... though it is like self distruction...

You never know what you see in this plastic world is true or not... people alwayz... appear that they are your friend.... they can mention your friendship when they need you.... but they never mention whenever you think that they are your friend.....

its all become rubbish stuf in this post....... i dint know what i typed.... but one thing is coming into my mind.... i must start sleeping early.... else...

else what i'll fill this blog with posts no one can understand... :) like this... this is quite quite personal........ and as alwayz.... "no comments are required..." rest your wish....

Moral : Dont do the things you dont like....... do the things you like..... if you are hurted in the outcome just remmeber the time you enjoyed while doing all those things ...... you can handle the outcome your way alwayz....

The Strange day that ended with BIG CATS!!!

You never know .. for what are you waiting .. sometimes. The same happened to me last night, i just didnt want to sleep expecting something.
I tried doing some office work, generally which i didnt touch at room, but couldnt carry that on for more than 1 hr. Then i did some Net Surfing..... that was also boring !!!
Lastly i took my guitar and started playing that ..it's almost midnight but none of my roommate was complaing .... yesterday... strange for me. They generally asked me not to play it at odd hours .. so as to avoid neighbours yelling at us :D..

Yesterday was different.. when i tried recalling the whole day ... i can feel the day is different. In Office i was given another assignment that will keep me on toes for 2 months. I love such tasks... and feels great that i am being chosen from the whole team. I love taking responsibilities. Thats what i am doing in all phase of my life.... whether .. office ... friends.... rather i would say i have changed myself a bit to obtain .. balance between my office life and personal life. There were times when my friends were alwayz waiting for me to come from office.... yelling at me at times. Those were the times and those all have gone.

I started giving more time to my friends... i was alwayz ready for them... i do this till date ...!!! when i see at me today i am a complete changed person from what i was some 1 yr back, ... well i alwayz appreciated this change... all credit goes to the situations i faced.

When i look back i can see myself people from all sides ready to tell me about their problems... their happines.... this also happened with persons with whome i have a small contact. I can never find the reason for that involvement ... i can never find i know. But at times i felt that i am becoming overloaded with people's expectaions .. their happines... their sorrows... i cant help myself attaching to people's sorrows rather then their happines.

I started avoiding those .... forced sessions of people's discussions ... i know it was hard... and i know that change was easily noticable..... i felt the change in others also due to that change.

Now i have a pool of friends to whome these sessions are still on... and they were never part of that change.

Yon can see i can never become a good writer..... i totally lost the direction of the post.. :p no regrets though.... this post is under "my views" and as i said earlier... no comments required.

I am not alwayz ready to end post i am writing. i never liked writing but i am writing ... u see..!!

Last night i went through a strange dream. I had this dream 2-3 times last week. What i see is that in dreams i am surrounded by lions and tigers and they are in all directions... all over.. the place is some rocky green place. Now one by one they started attacking me.... but i was escaping each time...s0mehow.. i jumped... i ran .... i jumped over them... but escaped at last.
Each time this dream come the number of BIG CATS increased from that of last time... now they started attacking in groups.... but i am finding myself now more confortable (experience .. you can say !!! )...
but strange thing is that .. now other people are surounding me and still those creature are tagetting me... yesterday i saw a rare white tiger also... as soon as escaped last night ..... it broke my sleep... i woke up ... stood up.... went to fridge ... had some water....!!

Then i realized and tried to remember what i was doing ... before sleeping... i was waiting for something..... right!!?? ... i dint remeber when i slept... i went to PC ..... logged on ...checked time.. it was 3 quarter past three in night...
i checked for what i was waiting...!! no success... :( am i expecting much..?? ... NO.. i think....!! .. i need to think all over again...

My Sleep was gone ........what to do den ?? ...den i googled about my Dream and what it mean... i do believe in dreams .. their connection to what you will face ... and what you have faced..

What i got is that ......it means "You will be attacked by Enemies from all directions.....in any part of life..... U cant predict"

but didnt i mentioned..... :D that i escaped all the times..

SO ... i am waiting and i am prepared LIONS and TIGERS .... i welcome you with open arms... but will not let you people HUG me... :-)

Sandeep :-)

The Guitar Saga....!!!

This is intresting..... you'll not really notice these small but touching stories ...!!

Firstly i had to admit... guitars fascinated me whole my life that i lived... one cud never find reason for such strange fascinations..!! i never tried though :-p.

So due to this strange.. atraction i alwayz wanted myself to play guitar... cudnt get time in college ... nor were the facilities..

After so much time the charm was still ON.. and i found myself financial enough strong ..after 1 yr of job to let myself ....learn the guitar..!!!

Friends... encouraged me !! ... made fun of me.. discouraged me...(nothing personal though.... its all part of friendshipmanship that we have :D..) ..but these things little teasers only added to my determination.

Atlast ....!! ..I found a music teacher .. to teach me guitar .. let me tell you the starting days were very discouraging... as it is not really easy to play this thing..

But i managed to hold... all credits to the "charm" to guitar and another "charm" that was coming to guitar classes...

So... i started .. i worked hard... and the results are worth noting.. meanwhile i met this charm gal at two three more places which just added to the existing charm.. :-)

In Guitar class i dint get chance to speak to this gal.. due to timings... due to reluctance by my side.. and due to something i dnt knw..

In the end i saw this gal in my office... and i started some hi-hello.... eyebrows updowns... i love this..!!

so i thought i was in a position to admit that .... there is something.... i dnt say it love... nt flatuation..even..

The girl is cute... with beautiful eyes.... and the voice she's having i liked the most...i found this girl less talkactive... but still can steal the show with whateva she speaks...

So finally i admitted to myself that ... i am having "crush" on her ..after a long time... i wanted to speak to her... wanted to spend time with her... and buddies.... i was getting some attention.. ;-)

So the next day i went to class early!! to match with her timings... but she dint turned up.... i palyed guitar for 2 hrs.. that day .... hoping that she might come late. No success though!!! :-(

What i got that day is that....information that we'll not be having classes for next 2 weeks as the teacher ...needed a break... :-).... gud timings is what i can say.

I knew i can never get time in office to talk to her... the only option for 1 hr interction is my Guitar classes... considering the fact that it is not feasible to catch her up... in 2000 people workforce...

So i was sure i am not getting what i wanted for two weeks... :-( neway .. after this all happend i got my senses back to realize that "I dont know her name !!!!!"

I tried my best to get her name... sources all over the office were searching for that gal and her name...

One late evening...... "I GOT THAT !!!!!!! " u can never imagine how good i was feeling that.... hearing that really sweet name.... i cant mention The Name here... i promised to myself that i'll not do that...

So the next day ... i searched for her on ORKUT .... the first thing i wanted to do..... hell knows WHY??? ...

Though i dint got any profile with her name but i got to a community... logical connected to her..!! and dint i mention she had a sweet but unique name.... !! ... so what i got from there.. was nt funny at that moment.. :-(

It was mentioned in BOLD ( why???) that ---

"Miss Charm is getting married on 24th Nov, 2007 and getting engaged on 22nd July, 2007"

i looked at the date .....in calender... it was 17th Nov, 2007..

As per my fundas of life... "Loving someone is all about not making her sad in neway" i am letting my hapiness down again !!!

I'll not try to get her in any trouble !!!! of anytype... that can arise if i'll tell her about

will not let her know that i loved her (??) .. though i'll try to become her friend... if possible !!! and if i can manage being friend only !!

a short story....